CONTACT Mod 2 Part 5 - Science of Emotions and Feelings


Science of Emotion CONTACT Mod 2 Part 5

Welcome everybody, This part of CONTACT is about the ‘Science of Emotion and Feelings. Controlling feelings is one of the biggest challenges in communicating when situations are intense. They can unwillingly take over direction and outcomes of a conversation. I want to help you prevent that.

When we understand how emotions and feelings work, we can take control of them.

Emotions and Feelings affect our relationships, and our destiny to a great degree.

Do you have control of your emotions, or do they have control of you? It’s different in different circumstances for all. Do you want to have control of your feelings and emotions?

Have you ever been overtaken by an emotion and found it hard to shake? It seemed to have grabbed you and held on tight. Me too. I haven’t met a person that hasn’t.  

That’s when reason dives and we do and say things we later wish we hadn’t.

Do you want to be able to control those negative gut wrenching emotions that can create chaos in your life? We all have them at times. Anger, Fear, anxiousness, vengeance, impatience, the list goes on. They prevent peace of mind and prosperity. Check case on font

Do you want peace of mind and prosperity? Connecting effectively with people is a must.  In the last video I talked about how feelings and emotions are human connectors and when we focus on feelings, it’s somewhat easier to find common ground because there’s a short list of feelings and emotions to refer to.

Emotions and feelings are more than just connectors. There are 5 things about feelings and emotions that you need to know so you can control your feelings when you want too.

Do you want to feel good? Here’s the things you need to know about feelings and emotions so you can take control of them, and especially those negative ones that pull us down. I’ll give the list and then go into detail about each.

Thing 1. Feelings and emotions are a powerful magnetic force inside us. Have you felt the magnetic pull of emotion in your body? Where do you feel it? Your gut, Your heart, your throat?

Add people Thing 2. Feelings or emotions are part of every communication interaction in our lives. Sometimes subtly and sometimes intensely.  

Thing 3. The reward of a feeling or emotion is the same feeling or emotion. They grow and they are contagious.

Thing 4. Feelings And Emotions Have Different Qualities. Emotions are triggered by something we witness. Feelings are invoked through a controlled mindful process.

Thing 5. Feelings and emotions can be controlled and shifted with your thoughts and through your power to choose. Your greatest power is your power to choose. Are you using it as much as you could to shift yours and others feelings to get positive outcomes?

It’s up to you to learn to use the magnetic force of feelings and emotions in a communication process to regress into loosing outcomes.

Progress Towards Win-Win Outcomes. Understanding the science of emotions and feelings will help you get those win-win Situations.

Lets talk about Thing 1, in more detail. Humans have an electromagnetic energy force inside them.

Feelings are the magnetic part of the force. Thoughts are the electric part. Electricity and magnetism go together like thoughts and feelings.

Where there is electricity there is always magnetism and vice versa. Where there are thoughts, there are feelings and emotions and vice versa. Thoughts and feelings or emotions are inseparable like electricity and magnetism.

Think about it. When you are triggered with a strong feeling or emotion, you feel it in your body like a magnet. It pulls. Where do you feel strong feelings? Your gut, heart, mid section, throat, knees? Magnetic Energy Is a pull or it can be a push like when you put magnets the wrong way and they push apart.

Electric energy is constant flow, not pull and push. Thoughts flow quickly like electricity. We think at rates of 500 words a minute or more and they flow. There’s many of them. Can’t put em all a computer hard drives. Feelings stick like a magnet. There’s not that many of them. Can list all of them on 2 pages.

We are slowly learning to understand and measure the electromagnetic energy that fluctuates with different thought and feeling patterns. We’re learning they affect our health as well.  We know our thought and feeling patterns affect how we communicate and our relationships and our successes.

The magnetic pull of emotion and feelings can be energizing or debilitating.  It can be very strong or hardly noticeable. Have you felt the magnetic pull of emotion and feelings? The magnetic energy is unavoidable. It’s not unchangeable. I’ll share how to control the negative pulls shortly.

Thing 2. Feelings and emotions are part of every communication interaction in our lives. As humans we communicate in a 5 step Human Interaction Process. The HIP.

We sense, then we think and perceive after we sense. That’s followed by a feeling/emotion, then we derive an intention and then we act. Each person in an interaction does this HIP over and over until the interaction ends. We all go through many HIP’s as we go through our days

You can’t avoid emotions triggering as you interact. They are Automatic Responses. You can control them though, and use them to your benefit by focusing on the fact they are common in all people. When you share a triggered emotion effectively, the other person can relate and it helps in finding Common Ground.

By the time we’ve gone through a couple years of grade school, and probably sooner, we’ve all felt every emotion and feeling in the full spectrum through some Human interaction. So we can all relate to emotions or feelings whatever they are. Emotions and feelings are common denominators in all humans.

Thing 3. Feelings and emotions are rewarded with the same feeling or emotion. They are contagious and they grow.  For example: the reward of patience is more patience and patience can be contagious.  

When we receive a positive outcome or benefit for being patient, it’s easier to invoke Patience in ourselves the next time we need it. The more we access patience, the more it grows in us and the easier it is to access.

Often when we share our patience perspective, with another person, they gain some patience. The patience is contagious.

The reward of anger is more anger. When we express anger towards another person, the anger often triggers in them and it grows in both people. Anger is rewarded with more anger often.

Any time we’re communicating we are choosing to grow some type of emotion or feeling, whether we are aware of it or not. Sometimes very subtle. Sometimes NOT. Spreading and growing emotions are an underlying consequence of communicating.

We don’t even have to mention what we’re feeling at times and the feeling or emotion still transfers and grows.

When we choose a negative gossiping process, we are choosing to spread and grow negative emotion.

Do you want to be seen as someone who spreads negative energy or positive?

When I’m in a negative conversation, I can choose to move it towards positive outlook, by sharing new perspectives, or I can choose to go deeper into negative. I can choose to break patterns of sharing negative info, or not. So can You!

Using this science of emotional and feeling growth, you can choose to grow more negative situations in your life or positive more ones. When you choose to communicate positive thought processes habitually, your success in every aspect of life will grow. 

This doesn’t mean ignore negative situations. It means being focused on finding solutions to negative situations when they arise, through your feeling control and communication efforts.

Developing feeling control is a way to build resilience into your life. Resilience gives you the power to move through difficult situations, turning adversity into benefit. I’ll show you how to develop feeling control soon.   

Thing 4. Feelings and emotions have different qualities. What are they? How do I choose? Well, Emotions Are Triggered Responses That Happen Automatically, while feelings are controlled mindful expressions.

We make the choice whether to express emotions or feelings in the Human Interaction Process. Sometimes We Choose Too Quickly and we surrender to emotion and choose to go with it before reflecting wisely. 

Emotions trigger but you have time to reflect, reason and shift. Things like fear can automatically trigger and spike us into chaos when we witness a troubling circumstance, as can anger, and vengeance.

Remember, I’ve said it before and its worth saying again; When we are triggered intensely with an emotional response to an incident and our emotions spike up and grab our body and mind. at the moment we spike, our ability to reason takes a dive and we do things that we never would when our reason is stable.

When uncontrollable emotion triggers, it’s time to stop the conversation. Take a breath/ do whatever works for you to postpone for a moment or longer. Wait till reason returns and Emotions Settle And Then Resume.

Use your time wisely in the pause.  Take time to think about focusing on your sense of inquiry (wondering what‘s going on for the other person). Ask them, so that you Invoke Positive Feelings In The Other Person Like They Matter. You Want To Trigger Positive Feelings In Others to keep things moving  towards win-win.

Feelings like confidence, perseverance, and feeling understood Can Be Inspired Through A Thoughtful Controlled Reasoning Process and used to control a situation. Feelings are invoked in a mindful process, even keel, stable and not so spiky like emotions.

We can invoke many healthy feelings in a thoughtful reasoning manor.  Check the feeling list. Persistence, Joy, Feeling Included, Compassion are all Mindful Controlled Processes.

Love can be a triggered emotional response (like in love at first site) or a Controlled Thoughtful Process (like in falling in love with a childhood friend, thinking about how they are so great). Fear can be both too. The emotional triggered response of fear, often ends up being unnecessary though.

Reasoned fear, drawn on from a desire to avoid negative experiences, often invoked by thinking about past mistakes, can be helpful in not making the same mistake twice and maintaining peace of mind. In that way Fear can be a mindful Process

Practice being mindful and reasoning effectively. Practice Invoking Your Positive Thoughts And Feelings and Soon It Will Become Habit in all your communication interactions, even when intense negative emotion is triggered. You’ll be seen as a positive person people want to be around.

What do you do when a negative emotion persists and magnetizes and keeps you stuck in angst? Can you feel the magnetism of an intense emotion inside you just thinking about a difficult past situation? Is it hard to release? You can release those long lasting negative emotions that keep you stuck. Here’s how it works.

Thing 5. Feelings and emotions can be controlled by thought. That’s why all the self help thought leaders promote positive thinking. It promotes positive feelings which spreads and grows and they are the true catalyst of success.

Do you like to feel positive?  Of course! You and I have the power to choose which emotions or feelings we are going to express and grow in a situation, by choosing our thought patterns, which we do have control of.

This is way easier to say than to do at times. I get it. When energy is high mindfulness is tough.

But our greatest gift, and greatest super power, is our power to choose. We do have an inherent ability to choose a response by choosing to control thought patterns. We can choose to release triggered emotional responses and replace them with mindful and thoughtful reasoned feelings.

Don’t just accept all your triggered emotional responses as unchangeable. Don’t accept that you’ll have the negative emotions forever. Think about your life. You have shifted in and out of negative emotional responses many times.

Everything Shifts And Changes. It’s a constant thing in life.  Embrace it. Use this thought pattern to help you shift negative emotions. What else can you think of to make things shift quicker?

Think about the feeling of discipline. Get disciplined at invoking new perspectives. That’s how to get in touch with that power to choose when you’re triggered so intensely?  Invoke discipline.

We all have it inside us. It’s a magnetic force.  Can You Remember A Time You Accessed Your Discipline? Feel it. Use it again. Grow it.

Sometimes we need new thought patterns and new perspectives to control anchored old emotions that seem to persist inside us or trigger when we don’t want them. That’s why many people seek counselling or talk to mentors. They want new perspective to help shift old anchored magnetic emotion that’s uncomfortable. 

Build your networks. Build your perspectives. Talk to new diverse people, smart friends, mentors, business colleagues. Sometimes reading a book or taking a course gives us new perspective which we can use to alter emotional response.

The more you seek new wisdom and different perspectives, the more your ability to control emotions grows, and the more successful you become in aspects of life that are important to you. 

Lets do a quick recap: The Science Of Emotion.

Thing 1. Feelings and emotions are a powerful magnetic force inside us. Are you using that force to your benefit? Share your feelings and ask about others feelings to Find Common Ground.

Thing 2.Feelings or emotions are part of every communication interaction in our lives and directly affect the level of success we achieve in relationships and in All Aspects Of Life.

Thing 3. The reward of a feeling or emotion is the same feeling or emotion. They grow and they are contagious. Do you want to be known as a person who grows and anchors positive feelings in yourself and others, or known as the negative Nelly type person?

Thing 4. Feelings and emotions have different qualities. Feelings are controlled reasoned mindful processes and emotions are triggered spiked responses.  What do you want to feel? Positive feelings or negative emotions?   

Thing 5. Feelings and emotions can be controlled and shifted with your power of choice through thoughts. Your greatest power is your power to choose. Are you using it as much as you could to get positive outcomes?

Invoke the discipline inside you to choose wisely. Access it often, so it becomes a habit and automatic when you need it to shift triggered emotional responses that happens to all of us.

Get more perspectives from mentors and wise people you know. Read a book or articles. When negative emotion triggers, reach inside and find the magnetic discipline, persistence, perseverance, confidence.

Get in touch with your sense of  wonder about what others might be going through. Wondering is a mindful feeling.

You’ve felt all these positive feelings before. They’re anchored in magnetism inside you. You just need to focus your thoughts to search for those positive feelings. 

Practice Being Aware Of Your Triggered Emotional Responses and shifting them to controlled mindful feelings every opportunity you have. Don’t avoid situations. Take Control Of Them Patiently, Consistently, With Perseverance, And Confidence.

Practice sharing feelings and emotions and asking others about theirs to search out common ground. People love having their feelings validated. Their trust in you builds when you validate their emotions and feelings.

 Thanks for watching. I hope you enjoyed The Science of emotions and feelings. See you next time. Like this video if you like it. Bye for now. Go make it an awesome day.

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